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How can I stop being so judgmental?

Judgment is a natural state of the mind, a tool the mind has to try to ensure survival, protection, and safety. The mind is trying to protect based on beliefs, perceptions, or what it has been exposed to. The more you listen internally, the more you realize that judging seems to be a natural way of answering life. It becomes, then, internally, like a voice you wish would just stop talking, judging, condemning, and fixing whatever is being seen. It’s natural to feel disappointed and upset and even try to change this inner voice.

When you realize that judgment is a part of the mind and you see that you are not the mind, it’s easier to disengage with this reaction. If you see that judgment happens when you are feeling fear or insecurity, you see that judgment is a defense mechanism to whatever is there. When you bring awareness towards this, slowly, it stops being an unconscious habit. As a result other responses start to emerge. The highest response is always awareness, and this will bring compassion towards you and life.

Prema Bentley | Co-Founder of Sacred Wisdom School

Are my ancestors important for my journey?

When you acknowledge your ancestors, there are different layers that emerge from these relationships. On the one hand, when you awaken to your interconnectedness in life, how your life is a result of everything your parents experienced, and their parents, and their parents, and their parents, even going beyond to people, we don’t even know their names or what they experienced. In this layer, the mind tries to get a hold of this realization and can tend to blame or become a victim of perceived circumstances. In reality, you are alive, have everything you have, and even have the attention or energy to grow spiritually because different ancestors have paved the way for you.

When this realization settles within you, deep gratitude emerges. This gratitude produces a natural honoring and appreciation of every being that came before. The birthing point of this love enables you to integrate all your ancestors within you, to heal within yourself whatever is there emerging in your ancestry line through you. With deep gratitude and reverence comes a higher possibility of healing, wisdom, and growth.

Prema Bentley | Co-Founder of Sacred Wisdom School

I need to ask for forgiveness. Should I reach out to the person I hurt?

When you realize you have done harm to another and, in doing so, you can see some of the depth of their hurt and pain, you naturally want to connect and apologize. This is a natural reaction from your heart. When you feel this, you may experience a lot of layers of your conditioning: the fear of being perceived as weak, the fear of confessing and not being right, the fear of losing power and control, and so many worries that arise from the heart movement to amend. All of this usually happens at a superficial level where the mind-ego struggles with being exposed so that the false identities might be caught and seen.

There is a much deeper aspect that you should always connect with before contacting another person, which is why you are reaching out. Sometimes, you feel so guilty about what happened that you want to connect with the other, ask for forgiveness, and receive absolution. You want the other to set you free. In this action, you are pressing the other, disregarding how they feel about what happened—simply asking for forgiveness to feel better about yourself.

This moment of asking for forgiveness is a moment of true surrender to consequence, of hearing the other more than being heard, of accepting the other’s unwillingness to forgive and respecting their experience. It is a moment of being willing to offer your presence for the betterment of the relationship, of offering selflessness in that moment.

Prema Bentley | Co-Founder of Sacred Wisdom School


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